When asked why he thought this attack had anything to do with race, the Atlanta attorney representing Coles Mr. Cedric Lawdog said, "Lookie Heera! That shark wasn't just any shark. He was a GREAT WHITE Shark! Now with a name like that, how can this attack not be racially motivated? This case is going to make history. These racist KKK Great White Sharks will learn not to mess with the black man. We will no longer be oppressed by their Great Whiteness."

A spokesman for the shark said: "Race really has nothing to do with this attack, the shark doesn't care if you are white, black, yellow or purple. If you go into the ocean you accept the fact that you take certain risks. The shark was doing things that sharks do. Plus, he (the shark) was just being curious seeing that he's never seen a African American swimming in the ocean before. If he wanted to kill Mr. Coles, he would have.

Last year, Florida reported 2 of the 7 racist fish attacks in the United States, according to the NAACP File at the University of Alabama.

The bite mark left by the shark was very minor. A scratch really, however Coles almost bled to death because no one came to his aid after the attack.

When asked why no one in his family tried to help him out, brother of the victim Buck Fiddy said, "Shit, man, ain't no way in hell I'd go into the water after seeing some shit like dat. Most brothas know to stay da hell out of the water anyway. I guess his dumb ass didn't see Jaws. Fuck it man, he'll live. It ain't like he's been shot. I just wanna send a shout out to my boo Shantae and a big ups to my boys on the corner of Reed and Stable, sell that rock ma niggas."

When asked to comment, the shark was quoted as saying, "Mmmm…Tastes like chicken.".

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike