| VENTURA,
CA - Comedian Gilbert
Gottfried, who was apprehended today
following a three hour high speed chase
and subsequent police stand-off,
is now the prime suspect in the brutal
murder of fellow annoying comic Carrot
Top.
Carrot Top, the androgynous comedian
known for his disturbingly nerve-racking
1-800-CALL-ATT "Dial Down The Middle”
commercials, was found beaten to death
in his West Hollywood apartment yesterday.
The suspected murder weapon, a bloody
telephone receiver matted with curly
red hair, had apparently been ripped
from a nearby pay phone. Through
sources that lived in the apartment
building, police were given a description
matching Gottfried’s.
"[Gottfried] was a maniac,”
says a neighbor who wished to remain
anonymous. "I saw him tear
the receiver away from the pay phone
outside and run up the stairs to [Carrot
Top’s] unit.” Another
source added, "He was shrieking
obscenities in that awful voice of his.
It was unmistakably Gilbert Gottfried.”
Gottfried, who’s attorney claims
his innocence, led local police as well
as the California Highway Patrol on
a reckless high speed chase on and off
of the Hollywood Freeway that lasted
well into the afternoon, after authorities
attempted to bring him in for questioning.
The chase ended in a armed stand-off
between police and Gottfried who was
screaming at the officers in a voice
that can only be described as unforgivable.
The police, confirming that he was not
actually armed and dangerous, later
subdued him with pepper spray, batons
and tasers. He was then brought
into custody.
Gottfried’s lawyer today refused
to comment on what line of defense he
would pursue in the matter, however,
Carrot Top's manager was eager to speak
with reporters.
"This is a heinous crime,”
he stated in a press conference outside
of his office. "Carrot Top
was one of the most adored celebrities
in America. Everybody loved Carrot
Top.” With a visibly shaken
countenance, he added, "This crime
will not go unpunished.”
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika
|
