Nx:
Sarcasm is lost on you. Anyway, now
that the governor’s race in California
is over, I guess the media’s going
to be shifting their full attention
to you. You’ve gotta be happy
about that.
KB:
You know it man! Chicks love a man on
t.v., especially one that has gone to
great lengths to prove how much he likes
to abuse and neglect women just the
way they like it. I been gettin’
my jimmy waxed every night since this
started. When it goes full-scale, I’m
thinkin’ "I’m gonna
get served like a PIMP!”
Nx:
I’m glad to hear that. I wouldn’t
want a little rape to get in your way.
By the way, you did rape her, right?
KB:
Oh, hells yeah. She led on, then tried
to call time out, but that ain’t
how I work it, see? So I crunched the
numbers in my head quick and decided
to go ahead and take it.
Nx:
Crunched the numbers?
KB:
Yeah. $1 mil to buy the trial, $3 mil
to settle the civil suit out of court,
$1 mil to get my wife a new ring. But
it’s like MasterCard, ‘cause
the publicity and sex I’m getting’
outta this be priceless!
Nx:
So you’re sure you’ll beat
it?
KB:
Look, did O.J. go to jail?
Nx:
No.
KB:
And did Tyson?
Nx:
Actually, yes.
KB:
Well, that’s too damn bad for
Mike, ‘cause Kobe ain’t.
I gave the judge his money, the jury
will be paid off as soon as they’re
named. Like I said: smooth it wit’
da lady in the civil trial, and bounce
back just in time for practice. No worries.
Nx:
Excellent. Well, I don’t want
to keep you any longer, but thank you
for your time.
KB:
You have to go already? You haven’t
even finished your Rohyp-…I mean,
wine.
Nx:
S’aight…I’m going
to catch a cab…fellin’ a
li’l wooz…
KB:
That’s okay. You just lay down
on my couch. Face down.
Nx:
no…
KB:
Usually I have to go out to find someone
to rape, but it looks like Ko-be eatin’
in tonight.
Nx:
no…
KB:
Shhhhhhhhh.
Anyway, that’s about where the
tape cut out, but I’m sure I had
a great time. As you can see, Kobe’s
innocent, because he’s rich, and
that’s all that matters.
Personally, I’m just glad that
the end of the California Governor race
doesn’t have to mean the end of
good television. God bless you, Mr.
Bryant. For making the world a better
place, I salute you.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux
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