As
the protesters walked the few miles
to the RJ Reynolds parking lot, they
came across more and more patrons leaving
the bars who joined them on their way.
The rally continued until about 6:37am,
when all the protesters fell asleep,
which coincidentally was about the time
everyone ran out of alcohol.
RJ Reynolds employees started to arrive
at work at 7am to find their parking
lot filled with the sleeping protesters.
"Basically, it looks like a war
scene", said Tom Talip, a RJ Reynolds
cafereria attendant. "There were
stinking bodies laying all over the
place. You could hear people fighting
to breathe and massive amounts of coughing."
Winston-Salem Police showed up shortly
after 7:15am to wake and disperse the
crowd. There were no reported incidents.
However, one protester was charged with
possession of marijuana.
"These fucking cops, man. I can't
believe they arrested me. I guess it's
my fault for thinking this was a weed
smoking rally. I mean, hey man, I support
that!". Dexter Bramson was quoted
as saying while being placed in a police
cruiser.
Morrisey then said, "It's kinda
sad, we had all these people here to
support a common cause and since we
couldn't stay up, basically it's like
it never happened. I'm pissed, though.
I thought I would at least get some
free smokes out of this whole deal.
Apparently, poor planning & alcohol
ain't the way to do something around
these parts."
"Wait. What am I saying is that's
how everything is done around here.
REBEL YELL BABY!" Morrisey concluded.
RJ Reynolds announced they will release
a statement later today.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike
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