“I’ve always dealt with really scary things, but boy crikey! There is nothing worse than trying to get your daughter away from a crazy American woman,” said Irwin.  “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to make this as fast and painless as possible.”

The opportunity Irwin was looking for came along when he was approached by a producer Carl Jones of Fox’s Celebrity Boxing. Jones said of their first meeting, “When I first approached Mr. Irwin about boxing his wife for the rights of their daughter he was a little leery, however when Mrs. Irwin found out about this offer, the trash talking just started flying.”

“Terri and I had a good run at trying to make things work, but she’s too interested in settling down and I’m too career oriented. I’m not truly happy unless I am wrestling a 20 foot ‘Croc’ or handling a King Brown. I need that sort of excitement in my life. Terri is a beauty though. I know she’ll work something out after I knock her teeth down her throat.” expressed Irwin when he was asked what the reasons for divorce were.

When asked her thoughts on the upcoming event, Terri Irwin said, “Steve is a nut case! I can’t tell you how many times we would be having sex and he’d jump
out of bed to catch a moth or any other kind of critter and explain everything about it to me. At first it seemed romantic and passionate, but now it's pathetic.”
 
“I mean, it’s nice that you love your work but come on, work on this,” she continued, indicating her vagina.

 “He does that sort of thing all the time, every time we drive somewhere he’s always jumping out of the car and running off into the woods to catch something. I just don’t think it’s where I want to be anymore. I don't think it's safe for Bindy. Why, just the other day she was pouring herself some milk and a dingo ran by the window. She dropped the milk everywhere and went outside and attacked the dingo. I mean is that something a normal kid would do?”

Terri Irwin concluded, “I love Steve and I always will, but I thought his whole act was an act and it wasn't. That’s him. I can't take all the craziness anymore. He has almost died, like, 30 times. I’m sure if I just waited
it out, Steve would end up killing himself and there would be no custody battle. I’m not like that though. I’ll go on TV and whoop his ass like there is no tomorrow. He’s only like 5’2”.  How hard can it be?”

When told of Terri Irwin’s comments, Steve Irwin responded, “Woooo, this is great, bring it on. You’re going down, mate! Going down, much like the giant earthwork of Kora Carus does when his is confronted by an enemy or predator. Yesss!”

This special Celebrity boxing event “They’re Wild for their Child: Steve vs. Terri Irwin” will air Friday, November 29th at 8 PM.

The under card will feature:

The fat chick that played Natalie on the Facts of Life
vs
Justine Bateman from Family Ties.

Judge Judy
vs
Judge Mills Lane
(The Judge Grudge Match)

and

Jim J. Bullock
vs.
Jennifer & Meg Tilly

Remember it’s Friday, November 29th at 8pm and it’s only on FOX!

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike