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By thamike.com
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POLL: Saddam Hussein Would Win Election

BAGHDAD, IRAQ - The results of a recently conducted poll in the war torn landscape of Iraq have many independent pundits scratching their heads in confusion, as they show 64% of Iraqis would vote for Saddam Hussein if the January elections were held today.
 
The poll, given to a sample of 2,427 Iraqis from such insurgent strongholds as Fallujah, Najaf and Baghdad listed Prime Minister Iyad Allawi , Muqtada al-Sadr's and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi potential candidates, along with a blank space for a write-in vote, as is seen on many ballots issued in legitimate U.S. elections.
 
Conservative analysts had predicted the results of the pre-election poll would show that Allawi is the clear cut frontrunner for the leadership of Iraq, but following the Saddam victory they are now virtually speechless as the Iraqi people would apparently cast their hard won votes for the very dictator the U.S. military recently deposed.
 
„I don't understand," said Republican chief political strategist Karl Rove. „We rigged this thing tighter than the Florida elections of 2000, and that dictator bastard won anyway."
 
Iraqis were once again dancing in the streets early Friday morning following the announcement of the poll results on the Arab news network al-Jazeera.
 
„Curse American infidels, with Saddam at least we had electricity, water, houses, security, no terrorism, money, TV, intact families not decimated by stray bombs " said shopkeeper Muhammad al-Astani, who was still listing things he had before the U.S. invasion long after the news cameras has stopped filming.
 
President Bush, fresh from his fourth Crawford, Texas vacation in as many weeks, said the Saddam polling victory was just another sign of the „hard work" in Iraq.
 
„This is hard work, and John Kerry is a flip-flopper," said a visually confused President Bush, who appeared to be stuck in GOP talking points mode following the staggeringly negative news out of Iraq.
 
Bush is expected to invade North Korea sometime next week to distract Americans from the news in Iraq and win the election.

Written & Submitted by
J B Cougar


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