FROM THE MIDNIGHT SUN WHERE THE HOT SPRINGS BLOW - Despite rumors that Robert Plant's garbage was involved in a fatal car accident, Plant's penis' press contacts dictate that the most legendary unit of classic Rock was, indeed, not in that accident.

The three-car accident involving two vehicles from a funeral precession for a man police are only identifying as a "Mr. Cash," and a man's penis which looked very similar to Plant's occurred early Sunday morning. The package, who instigated the accident, was in fact that of The Who singer Roger Daltrey.

No one in the Cash procession was fatally wounded, but paramedics could not save Mr. Daltrey's schlong, and it died on the way to the hospital. Daltrey had this to say about the incident involving his penis:

"Oh fuck..."

"I guess the age-old argument's over, Zeppelin wins!" Plant's member jokes.