In a press conference, Agent Shawn Schmeckel of the FBI’s public relations unit briefed the press on the situation. “We began following Powell when we noticed he was spending a lot of time at the French embassy. This was considered odd behavior since, frankly, nobody likes the French.”

The theory was that Powell, with French backing, has been cloning himself thousands of times to create a super army poised for domination of the Unites States.

“Think about it,” said Schmeckel, “It’s the perfect plan. Who would suspect Powell? He’s got everybody sure that he’s nothing more than Bush’s bitch, but the guy used to be in the top ranks of the most powerful military in the world.”

Figuring nobody would notice the difference if the French embassy was gone, authorities seized the original Powell (located by the “#1” tag sewn into his underwear) and detonated a low-yield nuclear device in the lab.

Powell has been taken to FBI headquarters for questioning. Authorities intend to question him until he reveals the full extent of his plans, including the locations of any other possible cloning labs.

“We need to get all the information about hidden labs that we can,” Schmeckel said and then joked, “After all, the CIA will need all the help it can get when it goes to search for the labs. If they can’t locate WMDs in a country the size of Texas, they’ve got no hope of finding labs that could be anywhere in the world.”

More on this story as it develops.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux