In
a press conference, Agent Shawn Schmeckel
of the FBI’s public relations
unit briefed the press on the situation.
“We began following Powell when
we noticed he was spending a lot of
time at the French embassy. This was
considered odd behavior since, frankly,
nobody likes the French.”
The theory was that Powell, with French
backing, has been cloning himself thousands
of times to create a super army poised
for domination of the Unites States.
“Think about it,” said Schmeckel,
“It’s the perfect plan.
Who would suspect Powell? He’s
got everybody sure that he’s nothing
more than Bush’s bitch, but the
guy used to be in the top ranks of the
most powerful military in the world.”
Figuring nobody would notice the difference
if the French embassy was gone, authorities
seized the original Powell (located
by the “#1” tag sewn into
his underwear) and detonated a low-yield
nuclear device in the lab.
Powell has been taken to FBI headquarters
for questioning. Authorities intend
to question him until he reveals the
full extent of his plans, including
the locations of any other possible
cloning labs.
“We need to get all the information
about hidden labs that we can,”
Schmeckel said and then joked, “After
all, the CIA will need all the help
it can get when it goes to search for
the labs. If they can’t locate
WMDs in a country the size of Texas,
they’ve got no hope of finding
labs that could be anywhere in the world.”
More on this story as it develops.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux |