Faux-Newz
Now...
More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
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Nerraux

I really don’t personally know this guy that is called Nerraux who frequents thamike.com and is a staff writer for faux-newz.com. However I feel the need to write a short blurb on what he is getting himself into.
 
Oh Nerraux, all the things you will now be missing out on:

* Random hookups with the random skanky drunk broad at the bar
* Waking up and having no clue where you are or where you got there
* Blow Jobs
* Hand Jobs
* Basically any kind of job besides the one you have to bring money home to your wife
* Trying to out-do your friends in crazy endeavors
* Penis Sword fighting with your “Strange Friend”
* Jerking off where ever you want to in your apartment anytime you wish
* Having nothing but beer and mustard in your fridge
* All night Sega Saturn game session
* Leaving your porn anywhere you want
* Freedom
 
The list goes on and on…
 
Here are some things you can now look forward to:
 
* Long talks about feelings
* No Porn
* Food Shopping
* Holding her purse while shopping
* Turning down the 19 year old baby sitter’s offer for a quickie
* Holidays with the retarded in-laws
* Dinner at the dinner table
* Doing anything she wants you to do
* Women always hitting on you that you’ll never have
* Living in a female made prison
* Life as you knew it never being the same
 
Again the list goes on and on.
 
With all these things in mind, which I am sure he has taken into consideration, he must really love his lady and she must be special to get a gay-wad like him to settle down.
 
Just remember Nerraux, for as wonderful as she seems, somewhere someone got fed up with her shit and dumped her ass.
 
Good luck you poor bastard, may god have mercy on your pathetic soul.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trogdor

* Note. I meant no disrespect to Nerraux or his wife to be. I just felt like being a dick. Best wishes Nerraux!


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