The
informant claimed that one of his daughters
is a student at Yale and on a recent
trip home he overheard her talking
about “the agricultural experiment.” The
informant said he became suspicious
with his daughter showing interest
in academics. “I have always
known Je--a (to protect the student's
identity Faux-News has omitted two
letters of the student’s first
name)to be a bright student, but this
is ridiculous.”
Among
items seized in the raid were baking
pans inscribed with the words Alice
B. Toklas. Officials also found what
they referred to as Burrowed Out Natural
Grain Softwoods, and about 17 cases
of what was described as a cheese flavored
snack, although they would not comment
on how they felt the puffed cheese
snacks were connected to the investigation.
Faux-News reporters looked to students for their reactions to the DEA operation.
Yale senior Terry Oker said that students rarely give a second thought to the
ivy that adorns the exterior walls of university buildings.
“ I don’t know what the fuss is about, we never thought twice about
the stuff growing on the dorm walls, the stuff just grows like a weed and one
really cares,” Oker said as he chuckled to himself.
Administration officials at Yale said they never suspected anything as it was
common practice for students and others to cut away pieces of the ivy as souvenirs
of their time at Yale. School officials assured Faux-News that an investigation
is under way.
Written & Submitted by
Abe S
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