| Step Two: Complaining
to your coworkers will solve nothing.
Avoid this action at all costs. You
will, and when I say “will”
I mean “WILL” look like
a complete asswipe. You must find more
constructive ways to vent your frustration,
such as, perhaps, critical introspection.
Step Three: Drink liquor.
Step Four: As for you losers, close
your eyes, plug your ears and scream
“LA LA LAL LA LA LA LA”etc.
until your mouth is dry.
Step Five: As for you winners, repeat
step four, but with barbecue sauce and
stupid hats.
Step Six: No matter what happens, we
are all Americans. We are all united
with the same goal, which is to save
40% on anything that’s dangled
in front of us. Especially anything
made out of otheranimals. Delicious
animals.
Step Seven: The winners should pat themselves
on the back for seeing it through and
not paying any attention to that unsightly
“news/reality” business.
And the losers should really kick themselves
in the arse for that whole “let’s
make a circus out of the truth”
debacle. They deserved to lose. What
a bunch of assholes.
Oh no. I better go back to Step One.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika
|
