WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - Queer Eye For The Straight Guy cast member Carson Kressley has undergone an emergency gaydectomy, sources close to the absolutely queer television performer have reported.
 
“He was becoming erratic,” says friend Jaime Summers. “He was too queer.”
 
Kressley was admitted into St. Barth’s Hospital For The Queer, in Beverly Hills, shortly after having an episode so homosexual that his windows shattered and his neighbors called the authorities.
 
Though not fatal, the sudden burst of homosexuality has left Kressley in a condition that requires the knowledge of professionals.  The doctors at St. Barth’s are telling the public not to worry.
 
“Mr. Kressley will be okay in a matter of days,”  Dr. Phil Barnum said.  “We managed to get his voice down an octave or two.  He’s had some Jasmine tea, and we’ve been inundating him with Antiques Roadshow. He’s resting easy.  He’ll be fine.”