Pop diva Michael Jackson claimed today that his beloved chimpanzee Bubbles was the perpetrator in the recent allegations of sexual misconduct.   Jackson will tell the court that during a sleep over last year, Bubbles provided the 12 year old victim with Kool-Aid laced with NyQuil.  NyQuil is a popular coughing, sneezing, runny nose, put-you-in-a-coma, medicine.  According to Jackson the boy became lethargic after drinking the concoction and Bubbles “poked him in [his] poo-poo with his pee-pee.”
 
Jackson does not deny inviting the boy over for a “gladiator sleep-over,” but steadfastly maintains he did not molest him.  He claims the boy has mistakenly assumed it was him doing the molesting, when in fact it was Bubbles.