PROVIDENCE,
R.I. - Hazbro,
one of America's biggest toy
producers, announced today that
it will introduce a new line
of children's toys designed
to choke only dumb children
in time for the holiday season.
Officials at Hasbro say their
intended market is parents who
want to buy new and exciting
toys for their children but
don't want to lose the smarter
ones in the process. One official
said, "In surveys we've
found that most parents don't
care that much for the dumber
kids and therefore are willing
to sacrifice a couple of slow
kids in exchange for cooler
toys with more intricate parts."
The
first toy from Hazbro's new
line will be an action figure
called "Solid Plastic Gumball
Man," which comes complete
with twelve entirely inedible
gumball-shaped objects.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Lee Camp
