More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Near Fatal Accident in Overmash Colorado

OVERMASH, CO - Last night Oliver Pitts, a retired Singer sewing machine service man, was driving his restored Chevy Corvair through the rustic town of Overmash, Colorado, when a genie suddenly popped out of the horn button on the steering wheel, temporarily blocking Mr. Pitts' view of the road, and of the town of Overmash.

Braking rapidly to a halt, Mr. Pitts was heard by onlookers to emit a yell, “What the hell are you doing? You could cause an accident.”  The genie, interpreting that as Mr. Pitts' first wish promptly caused the halted car to veer into the midst of the onlookers, injuring one and necessitating a call to 911. The damage to the Corvair was minor, a relief to its owner, as Corvair parts are somewhat hard to come by these days.

Pitts Restored Chevy Corvair

Overmash, CO is a shy and retiring town (so much so that its ZIP code has only 4 digits), somewhat akin to Lake Woebegone, except that everyone seems a little below average. Having nothing to celebrate, the residents decided to make a holiday out of the incident. They offered to buy the Corvair, with plans to memorialize it by installing it in a replica of a 1960's diner that they would build.

As momentum gathered for celebration, festivity and prosperity, some even envisioned bumper stickers and roadside signs that would attract tourists (and their $$$) potentially making Overmash rich and putting it on the map (from which it had been omitted, same as Lake Woebegone).

Gratitude overflowed toward Mr. Pitts, now seen as the town's benefactor. Some even encouraged him to run for mayor. But alas for Overmash, Oliver was homesick, and valued his Corvair beyond any price. The last anyone saw of him he was vanishing in a cloud of oil smoke (those air-cooled engines did leak a bit, didn't they?), trailed by a humbled genie waiting to grant the other 2 wishes.

Overmash sank back into its proverbial slump, and no one has ever seen it again.

Written & Submitted by
Bob Gailer
 (Editors Note: What the fuck?)

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