More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Asian Orphans New "Tickle Me Elmos"

This year's hot Christmas item is not a dancing stuffed animal, a remote-control gadget or even a hi-tech video game. What are kids clamoring for this year? Asian orphans from countries like Laos, North Korea, and Cambodia.

"I wanna be like Laura Croft!!!" giggles Lindsay Stoler of New Rochelle, NY. "Her adopted kid is SO CUTE! I want to have one of my very own." Lindsay is referring to superstar actress Angelina Jolie who, along with a slew of Hollywood heavy hitters are on the cutting edge of the Asian-orphan mania gripping the country.

Many retail orphanages and toystore chains have contacted consulting firms like Redostois & Lough to try to ride the crest of this trend. "Basically we are telling our clients to market these orphans as risk-free second or third children. They can be fed for pennies a day, are used to sharing living accomodations, and will eventually, with minimal support, get full-ride college scholarships for computer science, engineering, or higher mathematics" says CEO Randal Assjer of R&L.

Poor Orphan: "Please, Get
Me Out Of This Hell Hole!"

"Plus, the kids themselves are brought to the land of opportunity and taught English....It's a win-win"

More cautious are those who were taken in by the "Russian peasant child" adoption scandal of the mid-eighties, where most of the "orphans"; were in fact savvy midgets, or "little people", who were adopted, brought home by unsuspecting and well-meaning parents, and then were robbed blind by their adopted "orphans".

"We have seen this before, and are warning people to check the credentials of the store or orphanage they are working with, and also to have each child examined by an impartial medical professional before accepting delivery to insure the authenticty of the orphan in question" Said a spokesperson for the Real Orphan Network, a consumer rights group based in Woodland, CA.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tom Cox

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