She continues, "Here is a list of some previous gifts he has received yet claimed to like...

......* A Free Pen From A Local Bank
......* A Paperweight
......* A Fanny Pack
.....* A Rusty Tin Can
......* A Certificate To Sit On His Couch
......* A $1 Gift Certificate To Brooks Brothers
......* A Used Bottle Of Cheap After-Shave With The Gift Tag From The Previous Giver Still On It.
......* Used Kitty Litter
......* Useless Kitchen Items
......* Incense
......* Thermal Underwear
......* Mentos
......* A Musical Car Horn
......* Socks and Ties
......* A Gigantic, Hideous Insect Model
......* A Toilet Seat Without A Lid
......* Tasteless Adult Bathroom Tissue
......* A Foul-Smelling Candle
......* A Handmade Doll & Basket Fashioned From Pins And Beads
......* Mud flaps And Car Freshener

"The list goes on and on, he's my son and all but I’m really starting to hate him. He really ruins the holidays, Merry Fucking Christmas Indeed." Nora Sanderson finished.

When asked to comment on why he has claimed to like these clearly horrible gifts he received, while chewing with his mouth open Sanderson said, "Man do I loooove Fruitcake!".

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike