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WASHINGTON,
DC - The Surgeon
General has announced that,
due to the shortage of flu
vaccine shots this year, it
is recommending a slightly
unconventional course of treatment
for Americans afraid of getting
the particularly nasty strain
of flu now flooding across
America: smoking.
Vice Admiral Richard H. Carmona
said the following: “We’ve
known for years that smokers
suffer less everyday illness.
It’s still true that
smoking kills people at a
younger age, but they tend
to be healthier up until their
deaths than non-smokers. It
just makes sense, smoking
kills people, surely it can
knock off a couple unicellular
viruses. My office is not
recommending a permanent
smoking habit, just suggesting
that it might be a way to
get through this season.”
Faux-Newz thinks it only fair
to let its readers know that
Carmona owns a large amount
of stock in the anti-smoking
medication Zyban.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux
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