WASHINGTON, DC - Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge is raising the nation's terror alert level in response to a threat from an anonymous note left on his car, according to a high ranking US official. 
 
“Mr. Ridge was quite shaken when he was reading the note,” the source said.  “He cupped his hand over his mouth and started crying profusely.  I think he might have even pissed himself.”
 
When reporters located Secretary Ridge outside of his office, they asked him what exactly was in the note. 
 
“I don't know who wrote the note, but they threatened to take away my car,” he replied. “They said that if I parked my car in a 'red' zone, whatever that is, they would tow it away.  If that does not indicate a major threat to national security, I don't know what does."

In an interview just before notifying the nation of the raise from yellow to orange, Secretary Ridge added that “if you can't park your car anywhere you want, that means they win...[and] we cannot allow the terrorists to win.”