Kerry took a moment at this time also to thank OHSHIT for their endorsement by adding, "With his big orange pumpkin head and total lack of eyebrows, I knew early on that he was the man to beat for your endorsement-but when things got ugly, I got uglier." which drew cheers from the crowd.

Kerry also used the opportunity to draw further disparity between his remaining competition and those attending the event. "Howard Dean has been nothing but a hothead since he has announced his candidacy." He said, "This along with his boyish charm and pancake flipping, he is hardly a decent candidate for a good president." he added, "And that John Edwards character is far too handsome of a man to take on that chimp looking incumbent-we need someone with some true character lines or at least some crow's feet." He brought down the house by finishing off his keynote speech by stating "Cooler heads..." he paused, "Cooler, misshapen heads will prevail in the end".

Kerry returned to his seat at the media honorees table with Sam Donaldson, David Broder (Sam and Dave as they are known to OHSHIT insiders) and John McLaughlin of the McLaughlin group where he endured some more detailed questions about campaign strategy and the direction of his efforts in New Hampshire. Once the drinks began to flow, the questions began to subside and the affair took a lighter note towards the end of the evening.

After an extended good-natured ribbing of his support for several of President Bush's policies on the war and domestic issues, a tipsy Donaldson asked Kerry, "Why the long face?...No, really..why?". Kerry pretended not to hear this and announced that he had to get moving for some early campaigning the next morning.

Written And Submitted by
D-Mon