More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Holiday Seasonings

One of my favorite holiday pastimes is teaching children the true meaning of Christmas. Some people delight in telling children that Santa does not exist. Actually, it is much more fun to reinforce the story of Santa, and the valuable lessons we can learn from him.

I ask them if they ever noticed how Santa brings better gifts to wealthy kids. This is because Santa loves the rich more than the poor. Do they know why that is? It's because that's how God feels.

Christmas also teaches us the importance of chopping down trees, displaying them in our homes for a week, and then throwing them away. So, another important Christmas lesson is that nature is for our amusement, and it's disposable.

If Santa gives away all of his toys, how does he pay the elves? He doesn't. They are slaves. Even P Diddy pays his employees 3 cents an hour in his foreign sweatshops. Our final holiday message is that slavery is OK.

To really reinforce what Christmas is about, show them animated Christmas specials. While these specials seem to have positive messages, it is only if you watch them all the way through. You should be sure and turn them off with 10 minutes left, because that is where the lies start. As soon as the Grinch successfully steals Christmas, turn off the TV. When Frosty melts, it's time for bed. I know it seems harsh, but that's life.

I know what you're thinking. Won't this backfire? Won't some of them become Jews? This is doubtful. Hanukah really sucks. It is all about spinning wooden tops and eating big crackers. And they won't become Muslims either, because they celebrate by strapping on bombs and blowing themselves up.

Happy Holidays!

Written & Submitted by
Gary From TSHIRTHELL.com

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