Santa gives away all of his toys, how
does he pay the elves? He doesn't. They
are slaves. Even P Diddy pays his employees
3 cents an hour in his foreign sweatshops.
Our final holiday message is that slavery
To really reinforce what Christmas is
about, show them animated Christmas
specials. While these specials seem
to have positive messages, it is only
if you watch them all the way through.
You should be sure and turn them off
with 10 minutes left, because that is
where the lies start. As soon as the
Grinch successfully steals Christmas,
turn off the TV. When Frosty melts,
it's time for bed. I know it seems harsh,
but that's life.
I know what you're thinking. Won't this
backfire? Won't some of them become
Jews? This is doubtful. Hanukah really
sucks. It is all about spinning wooden
tops and eating big crackers. And they
won't become Muslims either, because
they celebrate by strapping on bombs
and blowing themselves up.
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