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By thamike.com
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ThaMike.com Writer to Author Kids’ Health Text

NEW YORK, NY - According to sources in the office down the hall from mine on the second floor of the illustrious ThaMike.com Building, Faux-Newz writer Trogdor (a.k.a. Jerry “Spanky” Spurgeon) is allegedly in negotiations with textbook juggernaut Houghton Mifflin (http://www.eduplace.com) to produce a children’s health text. Details about the text have not been released, but Trogdor has released a chapter outline and statement about the book.


I Do!
Puberty - Pretty Soon, You’re
Going to Start to Smell

Chapter 1: The Respiratory System - Glade™ Smells Pretty! Why Not Spray Some in a Bag and Inhale?
Chapter 2: The Circulatory System - Which Drugs to Use and Which Veins to Put Them In
Chapter 3: The Reproductive System - It’ll Grow, Trust Me
Chapter 4: Sex - Jelly Bracelets and How to Become the Most Popular Person on Your Bus
Chapter 5: Sex - Playground Pick-ups. How to Get Yourself a Li’l Sumpin’
Chapter 6: Sex - VD: Cheese Doesn’t Make Everything Taste Better
Chapter 7: Sex - Making Money With Your Web Cam and AIM
Chapter 8: Adolescence - Your Body Will Soon Become a Theme Park, Have Fun with It!
Chapter 9: Puberty - Pretty Soon, You’re Going to Start to Smell, So Let’s Talk About Hygiene
Chapter 10: Alcohol & Tobacco - When You Finish Growing, You Begin Dying, So Why Not Live it Up?


Houghton Mifflin is planning to release an accompanying workbook and pack of supplementary materials including aerosol whipped cream, hypodermic needles, rubber gloves, vouchers for fresh produce, and a list of Web sites cited in the book.
 
“We’re excited to offer such a fascinating and educational book from someone who so obviously understands kids,” said Hubert Bongwaddle, HM CEO. When asked if he had read the book, he replied, “I haven’t really read any of it, but it’s endorsed by several large tobacco, drug, and retail products companies, and if that’s good enough for the President, it’s good enough for us.”
 
If negotiations continue to progress, you can expect to see Trogdor’s health book in an Elementary School near you for the 2004-05 school year.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux


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