Chapter
1: The Respiratory System - Glade™
Smells Pretty! Why Not Spray Some in
a Bag and Inhale?
Chapter 2: The Circulatory System -
Which Drugs to Use and Which Veins to
Put Them In
Chapter 3: The Reproductive System -
It’ll Grow, Trust Me
Chapter 4: Sex - Jelly Bracelets and
How to Become the Most Popular Person
on Your Bus
Chapter 5: Sex - Playground Pick-ups.
How to Get Yourself a Li’l Sumpin’
Chapter 6: Sex - VD: Cheese Doesn’t
Make Everything Taste Better
Chapter 7: Sex - Making Money With Your
Web Cam and AIM
Chapter 8: Adolescence - Your Body Will
Soon Become a Theme Park, Have Fun with
It!
Chapter 9: Puberty - Pretty Soon, You’re
Going to Start to Smell, So Let’s
Talk About Hygiene
Chapter 10: Alcohol & Tobacco -
When You Finish Growing, You Begin Dying,
So Why Not Live it Up?
Houghton Mifflin is planning
to release an accompanying workbook
and pack of supplementary materials
including aerosol whipped cream, hypodermic
needles, rubber gloves, vouchers for
fresh produce, and a list of Web sites
cited in the book.
“We’re excited to offer
such a fascinating and educational book
from someone who so obviously understands
kids,” said Hubert Bongwaddle,
HM CEO. When asked if he had read the
book, he replied, “I haven’t
really read any of it, but it’s
endorsed by several large tobacco, drug,
and retail products companies, and if
that’s good enough for the President,
it’s good enough for us.”
If negotiations continue to progress,
you can expect to see Trogdor’s
health book in an Elementary School
near you for the 2004-05 school year.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux
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