The difficulty with the production of the show began almost immediately when it came time to cast the host that would put forth challenges to the motley crew of would be builders. “We really wanted Sam Malone,” said an A&E executive, “but we got stuck with Norm instead. Nothing against George Wendt mind you, but I think Carla would have been more fun than Norm.”

Although A&E refuses to release any information concerning the outcome of the show, which has completed production and airs on Monday, January 5, this reporter has learned that the winner of the contest is less than happy at the results.

The happy home owner admitted that due to the lack of construction knowledge among the contestants, the house is more of a shanty than a refuge of domestic bliss. “The electrical wiring is atrocious,” said the winner. “I plugged in a hair dryer and it sparked a fire that ignited my cat, Mr. Mimsy Poppington. I don’t think A&E realizes how hard it is to douse a flaming pussy.”

Aside from poor construction, there were also several malicious forms of sabotage that were perpetrated by members of the show. “I knew I wouldn’t win the house,” said one, “so I sealed a dead fish in one of the walls and defecated in some of the duct work. I can’t wait until they discover that.”

“I can forgive my cat being given the napalm treatment,” continued the happy home owner, “but if the smell doesn’t go away soon I’m going to litigate someone.”

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
GhostElf