At a time in our nation's history when the war between Liberalism and Conservatism is at its peak, we here at Faux-Newz are honored to have with us the man dubbed the Bastion of Freedom and Conservatism in a Sea of Liberalism; Sean Hannity. Sean Hannity hosts a syndicated talk radio program that runs from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Eastern time all over the country and is number one in its time slot in most markets that carry it. In addition, Mr. Hannity co-hosts a television show in the Fox News Channel (Fox News channel is in no way connected to Faux-Newz and any resemblances between what either news outlet reports and actual news is purely coincidental). We met up Hannity in New York City recently.

Faux News - Mr. Hannity it is an honor to be able to talk with you.

Sean Hannity - I am glad to be here.

FN - So let's get right to it, how do you handle being the most talked about talk show host on radio and television?

SH - What about being a celebrated author? You did not mention that my book comes out in just under a week; you can pre-order the book at Amazon.com they have not sold out yet (MBCOIJUAWYCPOTBAATHNSOY).

FN - I was actually going to ask you about the book, although I am not sure I understand how can you sell out on a pre-order?

SH - Well if you look at my website, you'll see that I sold out a long time ago.

FN - Touche. Well speaking of selling out, now that you are syndicated and reach so many different markets, how do you manage to walk the line between speaking the truth and handling all the corporate sponsorships that have come your way.

SH - Well know it isn't hard really, I simply do not allow the sponsorships to interfere with the work I do for the American people. To me they come first and no amount of corporate sponsorship will ever change that. In fact just the other week I was on the road in the planning stages for my book tour, as you know MBCOIJUAWYCPOTBAATHNSOY.

Well anyway so there I was at a Ruth's Chris steakhouse, enjoying a sizzling Ruth's Chris steak; when I started thinking about how much I am humbled by my success. I mean sure being on the road is tiring, I mean when I stay in hotels, I miss my Serta Tempurpedic Mattress, but what can you do. I know my fans want me to travel so I do. I am getting better though at dealing, I can always use my Sony Vaio to log on to the internet and visit either my website, or the site of 1-800-FLOWERS, to send flowers to my lovely wife. So really I just make the best of it, I never have to worry about corporate sponsors getting the better of me.

FN - One thing I have always wanted to ask you about is the liberals who call in to your show. Do you feel that they are able to articulate their position well?

SH - No absolutely not. These liberals really have nothing to say. As you know I have written two books and as we said before, MBCOIJUAWYCPOTBAATHNSOY. Both books deal with the subject of liberalism, and how the liberals consistently come down on the wrong side of history. I think my books and my television and radio shows; really bother those idiotic, spineless, hippie, pot-smoking, little weenies. I mean these peace loving, illiterate, morons; are often so filled with rage yet have nothing to say; which is why the puny, little panty-wastes have to resort to cheap name-calling.

FN - Well Mr. Hannity, we are just about out of time, so I will give you the last word, and thank you again for taking the time to chat with us.

SH - MBTCOIJUAWYCPOTBAATHNSOY. The preceding article, much like Mr. Hannity's opinions is purely a work of fiction. The interview much like the current conflict in Iraq is purely the product of an over-active imagination with limited outlet. None of the claims or quotes in the article have been verified, the article was not even put through a spell check. However since this article might be displayed on the internet readers should believe most if not all the claims made herein.

Written And Submitted by
Abe S