TALKEETNA, AK - A whaling festival marking the end of The Esquimaux Eskimo’s Solar New Year celebrations erupted into an surprisingly expected walrus stampede Saturday, killing at least 57 people and injuring scores more, authorities said.

The accident occurred in Talkeetna County, north of Anchorage the official Esquimaux News Agency said.

“Autopsy reports are stating the most common cause of death in the stampede was suffocation.” an official from the County Coroner’s office was quoted as saying.

Onlookers were horrified at the scene of the stampede. "One person fell down from running in our well known huge Eskimo shoes and it caused many other people to fall down as well. Then the walrus’s slowly crawled by. It was like they were aiming for everyone!” Dâve Ripíka said.

He continued. "No-one could get up quick enough to get away from the walrus’s because as you know we wear really thick layers and much like Ralphie’s little brother in “The Christmas Story” they couldn’t get up.”

The other cause for the rest of the victims involved was due to the fact that in those think layers, their short stubby Eskimo legs wouldn’t take them fast enough to get away.