More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Bush Announces New Anti Gay Marriage Tactic

Washington D.C. - President Bush told reporters today that in his undying fight against gay marriage he will instate a new government program as a deterrent against homosexuality of any kind.

The program, called Scared Straight, seeks to stop homosexuality at its source.

“A constitutional ban on gay marriages is only trimming the leaves of the tree of sin,” Bush said. “I want to yank it out by its roots.”

Scared Straight
Thomas "T-Bone" Anderson, Scaring Queers & Saving Souls

Scared Straight is comprised of a squadron of death row inmates who are trained in homosexual deprogramming. They infiltrate homosexual hotbeds such as bath-houses and fitness centers, summer camps and John Meyer concerts. Then they, as Scared Straight member, Tom “T-Bone” Anderson puts it, “scare the living shit out of them.”

“We just get in their faces, you know what I’m saying? We don’t back down for a second,” says T-Bone. “ There’s about nine ofus. We big boys, too. After about 15 minutes of us yelling and intimidating some queer, I tell you he start thinking twice about poking another man.”

Although they swear that no physical harm is done, the Scared Straight squad does get very close to their subjects. “Sometimes we get a guy that’s hard to crack, you know,” T-Bone says. “We got to get some alone time. Sometimes it takes a couple of hours of one on one.”

Although Gay Rights groups across the country are up in arms about Bush’s new program, there have been subjects that say they have been helped a great deal.
“T-Bone and Scruggs really rocked my world,” says a former homosexual who wished to remain anonymous. “I want to schedule another scaring session next week.”

Written & Submitted by
Hugo Flores

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