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The Assassin Christ: An HBO Original Series
Assassin Christ


LOS ANGELES, CA -
HBO has announced that they will be airing their new original series “The Assassin Christ” on Sunday, March 7th 2004.

The long awaited announcement was made amongst the recent turmoil surrounding the release of Mel Gibson’s film, “The Passion of Christ”.

“HBO is not grabbing on to the coattails of the new mainstream in Hollywood. We have had this program under serious review for many years. We have always felt that with the success of “The Sopranos” and “The Wire”, our audience is looking for a new spin on an old and familiar tale,” said HBO Senior Programming Executive Steven Tralley concerning the new series.

He continued, “’The Assassin Christ’ is a heartwarming story of Jesus Christ, who after being crucified, rises from the dead and one at a time tracks down and whacks all those who were responsible or took part in his untimely demise.”

“One soon to be historic scene in the first episode is when Christ finds Caiphas (the senior High Priest of Fire's End) who demanded Christ's crucifixion hiding under a blanket in Jerusalem, pulls out his 9mm and says, ‘My name is the Lord and I will now lay my vengeance upon thee bitch!" finished Tralley.

HBO has not been unaffected by the criticism surrounding Mel Gibson’s film, and have altered several of their storylines in order to appease popular opinion. After the public outcry by the Black Panther Party that Jesus Christ was in fact a black man from Africa, they immediately tried to get Samuel L. Jackson to take on the role of the Savior. Fearing that the role was too similar to those that he has played in the past, Jackson declined the part of Jesus, but suggested that HBO might get John Travolta to play the part wearing black-face paint.

The network has also effectively eliminated all anti-Semitism from the series, and is considering having Jesus kill some Nazi’s somewhere in the second season.

Early examination of the series has yielded rave reviews. One critic wrote on moviepoopshoot.com, “’The Assassin Christ’ is what people have been looking, wanting, and waiting for...vengeance, blood, violence, scripture and death all wrapped up in a well written story. It's very believable and entertaining at the same time. The addition of a talking mule named Dismas, as Jesus’ sidekick adds comic relief to a very serious and thought provoking mini series!"

HBO has already signed the series to a 3 year deal. The network has also announced that they plan to run an all day marathon of the mini series this Easter by airing 5 new episodes in one day, it will be an event unheard of before in the entertainment industry.

The Assassin Christ is schedule to be aired every Sunday at 11am only on HBO.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike


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