Faux-Newz
Now...
More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
C1
PETA Attacks Hooter’s Restaurant Chain

COLUMBUS, OH - PETA has shifted its sights to a new enemy: Hooter’s. The radical animal right’s group has extended their onslaught against popular restaurants to include Hooter’s, a nation-wide restaurant chain known for its scantily clad waitresses.

During the new PETA campaign, “Buckets O’ Tits And Ass,” protestors stand outside shopping malls and outlets that have Hooter’s chains within, and hand out baskets dripping with fake blood to children entering the mall. The baskets, which resemble the “curly-fry” baskets served at Hooter’s, are filled not only with the fake blood, but naked Barbie Dolls and used breast implants.

“It’s important for people to know what pain and suffering goes into their quick and easy meals,” said PETA protestor Brian Hakely, as he doused an oncoming 8 year old pedestrian with fake blood and silicone gel. “PETA is here to spread the word.”

Hooters
PETA Seeks Justice For Horribly
Mistreated Hooter's Girls

Though no accounts of mistreatment of Hooter’s staff have ever been documented, PETA insists that the corporation mistreats its female staff.

Hooter’s spokesman Larry Purcell told reporters, “The cages are 8’ X 10’. That is more than adequate for Hooter’s personnel. They get three meals a day, their well being is monitored 24/7 on closed-circuit TV, and their breasts are checked for growths on a half-hourly basis.”

He added, “If that’s not good treatment, I don’t know what is.”

In some cities, as in Columbus, a great many residents have voiced complaint over PETA’s antics to authorities and to City Hall.

“It’s absolutely horrible,” said shopper Peggy Wilkensen. “I brought my 11 year old son to the mall last week for a haircut. Just as we passed by the Hooter’s entrance, I heard a sickening ‘thwap!’ When I turned to around, my child was on the ground with a bloody teat wrapped around his head. These people are a menace.”

PETA vows that the gruesome buckets will not stop coming and protestors intend to camp outside of every Hooter’s in the nation until the company decides to change its ways.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika


© 2004 faux-newz.com - Fabricated News For The Less Than Holy!
Terms of Service: All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners.
Text comments posted on Tha Mike may not be reposted or broadcasted without mentioning faux-newz.com as the source.
C2
   
C4 C3