A
few examples:
* Money spent trying
to abandon your children is deductible
in the state ofWisconsin. Fill
out for W-7F400-56B.
* Heavy drugs are deductible,
but only if you shared them with your
employer.
* Assault weapons and
ammo are deductible, unless used on
a representative of the IRS on any Sunday
or Wednesday; 8:00am to 5:00 pm. Call
the IRS for details.
* Much like hookers,
lottery tickets are deductible if you
bought them whileintoxicated.
Form W-198C (left column).
Sometimes, if you have been incredibly
stupid, the IRS will audit you.
If an IRS auditor is knocking on your
door, you are pretty limited as to what
you can do to prevent the audit from
happening. I suggest hiding under
a mattress, sticking your fingers in
your ears, and screaming “LALALALALALA”
until the auditor goes away. This
has worked for me, but only briefly.
The most important thing is to think
ahead. Don’t let yourself
even get to the point of being audited.
A few suggestions:
* Follow a life of
crime in Paris
* Pay your taxes on
time, asshole
* Get a job at the
IRS
I hope I’ve helped you, the taxpayer,
a little. Remember, relax, and
take a deep breath. It’s not that
bad having to do taxes. And if
you do find yourself facing an audit,
protect yourself. Wear a condom
the entire time it takes you to flee
the country.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika |