Career matters factor greatly in your
life this week, when you are mauled
by a circus bear.
You really should have killed that fucking
Sometimes friends will hold an "intervention"
to help someone cope with an addiction.
But come on, are you really THAT addicted
Monotheism can work for many individuals.
However, the toilet doesn’t count
as a deity, and speed and booze don’t
count as demi-gods. At least not in
Leo (July 23-Aug.
Frankie wants to touch you in the swimsuit
area. On Thursday, let him. You
won't regret it.
You will not be able to finish your
Boo-Berry Cereal, as you will be torn
to shreds by evil zombie children, mid-spoonful.
Despite what everyone says, you should
get that giant baby head that's growing
on your left shoulder looked at.
Anthrax in the mail this week.
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Being constantly fucked by the system
Is something we all have to endure.
However, in your case, you're being
fucked by the Dewey Decimal System.
And that’s just disgusting.
Pardon my French when I say, "Tu
aime ces types vicieux, qu' ici montrent
Cripples can make for good sport.
"Positive" will be your word
for the week, after a trip to the gynecologist.
I can't delve further into the details,
as that would spoil the surprise.
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer