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Since my last column 2 weeks ago (How
To Annoy Co-Workers) I have been
flooded with more examples from our
viewers.
I picked out my favorites, enjoy
* Sing the Batman theme
incessantly - From MinkGrl
* In the memo field of all
your checks, write "for sensual
massage." - Hoolihan
* Insist that your drive-through
order is "to go." -
From Stacy Bartles
* If you have a glass eye,
tap on it occasionally with your pen
while talking to others - Craig
Glass
* Amuse yourself for endless
hours by hooking a web cam to your computer
and then pointing it at the screen -
From Russ Winthro
* Speak only in a "robot"
voice - Skank McGee
* Start each business lunch
by conspicuously licking all your food,
and announce that this is so no one
will "swipe your grub." -
JonnyWads
* Stomp on little plastic
ketchup packets everywhere -
From Danny From The Buck
* While car-pooling insist
on keeping your car windshield wipers
running in all weather conditions "to
keep them tuned up." - Teresa
* Claim that you must always
wear a bicycle helmet as part of your
"astronaut training." -
Short Bus Billy
* Declare your office an
independent nation, and send a memo
to co-workers that you are suing for
"violating your airspace."
- Rufios Box
* Follow a few paces behind
someone, spraying everything they touch
with a can of Lysol - From Not
Your Mother
* Practice making fax and
modem noises - Honky Lips
* Make beeping noises when
a large person backs up - Fat
Chick Fucker
* Erect an elaborate network
of ropes in your cubicle, and tell the
neighbors you are a "spider person."
- Parkers Peter
* Finish all your sentences
with the words "in accordance with
prophesy." - Sandwich The
LunchPailer
* Wear a special hip holster
for your stapler - From I Wish
I Was Milton
* Disassemble your pen and
"accidentally" flip the ink
cartridge across the room - From
Snotboy
* Give a play-by-play account
of a person's every action in a nasal
Howard Cossell voice - From TV
Homo
* Holler random numbers
while someone is counting - From
The Count
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trogdor
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