HOLLYWOOD,
CA - After impressing
the world with his prodigious acting
abilities in front of international
audiences, Colin Powell has been tapped
by officially official officials to
share the lead with Mel Gibson in his
next movie, "Lethal Weapon Psalm
6." Mr. Gibson will be returning
as the one-man army Martin Riggs, the
only LA cop registered as a lethal weapon
and Holocaust denier.
The sexiest secretary was cast as Mr.
Gibson's new partner, Tom Tio (Tio is
Spanish for uncle), replacing the MIA
Danny Glover, whose character, Roger
Murtaugh, has - at last, mercifully
- been allowed to retire. In what passes
for real life, Mr. Glover was last seen
at a New York City street corner quixotically
attempting to hail a cab, and there
are currently no leads on what kind
of vehicle may have actually stopped
to pick up the amply proportioned African-American
actor.
Although Mr. Powell has never had any
formal training, he has acted as a mostly
obedient lapdog for the Military-Industrial
Complex ever since he covered up for
the My Lai massacre as a Major in 1968.
Although he was assigned to investigate
the matter of a letter written by a
guilt-strickened, participating soldier,
he left it to the journalist Seymour
Hersh to root the truth out, and instead
referred to the relationship between
the American soldiers and Vietnamese
people as "excellent" This
is not Mr. Powell's first foray in the
film world, as he is a credited co-writer
of the first Bill and Ted adventure,
which he also labeled "excellent."
During the filming, Mr. Powell will
not be asked to leave his post as Secretary-of-State-in-name-only,
anymore than he has already been asked
since the day he accepted and assumed
his humiliating position. The one-and-the-same
officially official officials referred
to earlier in this article suggested,
alluded, then yelled in my ear that
the forced acting gig had nothing to
do with Mr. Powell's occasional slips
and breaks from the neo-con script.
In the forthcoming Warner Brothers-Fox-PNAC
co-production, Mad Max and Mad Dubya's
Lackey will team-up to quadruple-handedly
take on tactless teams of thugs and
terrorists originating from Syria (but
"suspiciously" possessing
Saudi Arabian passports) who [it is
written] have gathered, glommed, or
gobbled up Saddam Hussein's personal
stash of Weapons of Mass Destruction
and bootlegged DVD collection. Also
missing will be frequent Bush critic,
Chris Rock, whose comic relief will
be replaced with ball-less Dennis Miller's
snarky and pretentious nonsensical blather.
According to a Papal smeared source,
the Pope has already pre-approved the
script, written by David Frum and Peggy
Noonan, and declared, "It is as
they say it was, so there."
Written
& Submitted by
Ron Brynaert
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