The people from Kut, an ancient town in Iraq are celebrating. The children are recycling spent ammo casings to raise money for a new Mercedeslimousine. A new portrait adorns the walls that used to sport the likeness of Saddam.

Local man, Habib Rahman, has been selected as the new observer to represent Iraq at the next meeting of the World Trade Organization.

The people lined up at Mecca and Medina no longer speak of the Prophet but they do enthusiastically mention the World Bank and the IMF. Parents don't name their children Osama anymore. Now it's “Habib” or "George" the man who ennobled the unwashed people of Babylon to enter the halls of the great and mighty solons of the WTO.

Forget all that leash stuff and the light bulb proctology from Abu Ghraib. It’s too hard to pronounce anyway. Never mind those pictures of dead prisoners who could not masturbate fast enough. (Don’t they like babes in fatigues?) Habib is going to Geneva!

Dreaded civil wars among Sunni and Kurd have become friendly chats over coffee at the Bazaar. Old men in scarves debate the intricacies of currency exchange rates and the unreasonable markdowns of Chilean Sea Bass. Malaysia is dumping PDAs on the Korean market. But Habib sends his pillow mint back to the museum in Baghdad to replace the jewel encrusted swords and Neolithic pottery.

Did I mention the Ba’ath towels?

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Lyle Graham