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It's perhaps the greatest irony of a
man's physical life: The harder the
penis is, the more vulnerable it is
to injury. We're agonizingly unprotected
at the very moment we feel most powerful
and in control. Researchers say three
to four million men in the U.S. are
impotent because of injury to the penis
during masturbation or intercourse.
Below I've added some of my tips to
help you stay safe and protected and
keep your rod healthy for years to come.
1. Let Erect Penises Stand -
No matter if you're dancing with a new
chick or giving an oral report in front
of your class, let your erection be.
You may feel embarassed at first, but
that buldge in your pants will help
get the ladies and boost your ego. At
the very least you'll be know to everyone
as Erection McGee.
2. Oil The
Gears - Sex without sufficient
lubrication is an accident waiting to
happen. Instead of slipping and sliding,
the penis is liable to catch and bend.
Use a good water-based lubricant or
spit to keep too much friction from
getting the best of you. You could also
try some forplay to get your woman wet.
It isn't that hard you lazy fucker.
If you're not into women, you're on
your own with this one.
3. Easy Does It - Some
sexual positions/acts are more risky
than others. Use extra caution, for
example, when the woman is on top. If
your penis slides out and she moves
out of position, you could end up fracturing
it if you accidentally thrust into her
pubic bone. Make sure, too, that she
doesn't rotate her pelvis in such a
way that you sense your penis being
bent. Use extra lubrication when engaging
in anal sex. Practice makes perfect.
4. Keep The
Right Senses - Drugs and alcohol
impair your judgment and may lead you
into making the wrong decision about
who to have sex with, when to have it
and how to position yourself. Thankfully
if you do hurt your penis, you'll completely
forget about the cow you were with the
night before.
5. Don't Be
Shy - If you feel any discomfort
at all, let your partner know. If a
certain position always causes a twinge
and pain, talk to your partner and modify
it or eliminate it altogether. No matter
how romantic the situation, seek immediate
medical attention should you hear any
cracking sounds followed by bruising
and swelling. God Damn, that sounds
painful doesn't it!!!
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trogdor
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