Cochran came out with this new line
of defense a day after he met with Red
Cross officials and was told of his
client’streatment. Apparently
Hussein, who hadn’t met Cochran
at this time, had been forced to watch
reruns of Comedy Central’s “South
Park” repeatedly for the past
three months. “South Park”
is a crudely animated series known for
its vulgarity and especially for its
constant parodying of the former Iraqi
dictator.
“He
doesn’t even make sense anymore,”
said a Red Cross worker who wished to
remain anonymous. “I ask him how
he’s doing and he says things
like ‘so why don’t we shut
the light off and get close, huh.’”
With a look of defeat, she added, “He
doesn’t even touch his muffins
anymore. He just keeps mumbling
about Liza Minelli’s red ass and
sobbing into a little soft hanky he
keeps in his pocket. He even let
his plants die.”
“This is an atrocity,” Cochran
added. “This man is not
the war criminal. The U.S. Government,
along with the brainwashing machine
that is the duo of Trey Parker and Matt
Stone are the real criminals, and I
intend to make sure justice prevails.”
Hussein is being held in an undisclosed
location. As of press time, Mr.
Parker and Mr. Stone were unavailable.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika |