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Place a mental check mark next to the
statement that describes you best:
* You're sick of that
lame single ear piercing you've had
since sixth grade.
* You just got dumped
and want to look more "edgy."
* You've spent countless
hours with that damn ab roller and are
determined to draw attention to your
washboard tummy.
We don't care what your answer is; all
of these are perfectly acceptable reasons
for getting pierced someplace other
than your boring ol' lobe. But before
you let some guy named Spike attack
you with a Day-Glo needle during "piercing
hour" at the local all-night rave,
you'd better read on. In this handy
little guide to body adornment, you'll
discover everything you need to know
about choosing a safe parlor, getting
the right piercing for your lifestyle,
and caring for your newly-altered body
parts once the deed is done.
First off, you should decide which area
to target. If you're plagued with some
extra insulation on your mid-section,
then you should probably skip the bellybutton
ring. If you have chronic allergies,
then just say no to the nose ring. Whatever
you do, don't get discouraged: as long
as you have a body, you've got a place
to pierce. Here are the four most-often
pierced locales:
Bellybutton
Tongue
Face
Genital areas
Bellybutton
Bellybutton rings (or if you want to
sound more impressive, "navel rings")
can be a sexy addition to a nicely toned
stomach. If you're an athlete, a dancer,
or anyone else who uses the body excessively,
however, you should probably re-consider
targeting this region. Changing clothes
frequently, falling to the ground, tackling
people, and sweating a lot will not
allow the piercing to heal properly
(read: nasty infections). But the benefits
of a bellybutton ring are:
* It's a low-key yet
interesting place for jewelry.
* It's easy to hide
if you only want a select few to see
it.
* If something (heaven
forbid) goes wrong, it's better to get
an infection on your bellybutton than
on your tongue, face, or genitalia.
Tongue
Keep in mind that the tongue is one
of the strongest muscles in the human
body, so it is capable of a lot of wonderful
pleasures (as well as pain). Lots of
people get their tongues pierced for
purely sexual reasons. Ironically, no
kissing or oral sex is allowed during
the healing period, which lasts three
to four weeks, but we'll get to more
about that later. Consider, though,
that if you are prone to oral fixations
(chewing on pens, eating lots of candy,
or talking too much), this one isn't
for you.
Face
The face offers a myriad of piercing
options, most commonly the eyebrow,
nose, lip and chin. Because the face
is so out-there-in-the-open, these piercings
will be very difficult to hide if need
be. They can be quite funky, however,
and are perfect for free-spirited, pre-corporate
youths. If you're an athlete, though,
avoid all of these, except maybe the
nose. Unless you like getting tugged
around by a bloody metal rod attached
to your brow.
Genital areas
Nothing like a barbell through the ol'
Johnson to get the party started, eh?
Be rational. While genital piercings
can make you scream with pleasure in
the bedroom, they can also make you
scream with pain in your piercer's chair.
These are very sensitive regions we're
dealing with, and are often prone to
infections.
For a detailed look at all your piercing
options (both X-rated and not) -as well
as how much they'll cost - check out
the guides below. The prices may seem
a little bit steep, but this is the
range you should expect from a top-notch
piercing salon. Yeah, we know you can
get a $10 nose ring from your roommate's
cousin Vito, but it's always best to
loosen the purse strings in the name
of safety and hygiene.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trogdor
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