JERUSALEM,
ISREAL –
Thousands of Israelis are worried
this month that their annual
Jewbilee will be tainted again
this year by Palestinian party
crashers.
Israel’s Prime Minister
Ariel Sharon said at a press
conference this morning, “I
guarantee the Israeli people
that this year’s Jewbilee
will be different. I want my
people to know that this years
festivities will not have the
same outcome as last year.
Sharon then warned, “Any
Palestinians who are planning
on crashing the Jewbilee this
year should know that we have
bouncers stationed all around
the Jewbilee Arena and should
you try to join in this years
party, you will be dealt with
in a stern manner.”
When asked what the punishment
would be Sharon said, “I’m
not quite sure yet, but I guess
it will be something along the
lines of putting them in a room
with a bunch of old Jewish women
shouting “A Klug”
and “A Broch” (both
curses) at them. There certainly
won’t be any A Gezunta
Moid’s (pretty girls)
for them!
Sharon finished by saying, "I
don’t want to be Machen
a Tzimmis (making a big fuss)
but we need Palestinians at
Jewbilee like we need a Loch
in Kop (another hole in the
head). If I see any Palestinians
I’ll give them a swift
kick to the Tuchas"
At Jewbilee 2002, several thousand
Palestinians scaled a chain
link fence and although there
were no injuries, the people
from Israel were very upset
this took place.
One Israeli Jewbilee attendee
was quoted as saying, “Oy,
Palestinians these days want
to do nothing but drink our
Manischewitz, get drunk and
light all of our Manorahs out
of sequence. My whole countries
feelings were hurt. I just don’t
get it. Can’t they make
themselves a sand cocktail and
stay in their huts long enough
to have their own parties instead
of crashing ours?”
Jewbilee is a time-honored
tradition in Israel, the festivities
include…
*
Commemorating
the escape of their forebears
from Egypt in 13 century BC.
*
Seaching everywhere
for even the smallest hint of
money. If any is found, they
put it aside and never spend
it.
*
Exchanging food
parcels with relatives, friends
& neighbors.
*
Always plenty
of Gehakteh Leber, Malawach
and Shishlik to eat and a shit
load of the Jew Brew Manischewitz
to drink.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike
|
